Softening The Heart's Callouses

I've been a romantic for most of my life and probably still am somewhere deep inside. 

I tend to hold hope in the power of love, but some callouses have formed around my heart over the last several years, mainly because our culture has become so fractured and uncivil. 

Many of us are feeling the same way. Add to that the memory of the global pandemic, the civil unrest, and the contentious elections since then, and it's easy to see why.  

As if that weren't enough, scores of us have also experienced profound life changes, difficult losses, and other similar experiences that have left us grieving and uncertain about the future. 

I was reading Anne Lamott's latest book, Somehow: Thoughts on Love, recently and came across the following passage that gave me chills (the good kind): 

One thing is certain: Love is our only hope.  Love springs from new life, love springs from death.  Love acts like Gandhi, our pets, Jesus, Mr. Bean, Mr. Rogers, and Bette Midler.  Love just won't be pinned down... Love is the warmth we feel in the presence of a favorite aunt, the kindness of a waitress, and the warmth of the hand that pulls us back to our feet when the loss of love has all but destroyed us.  It is this stuff, which any kid and most poets will tell you we experience in our hearts.  

At this point, we could cue The Beatles' song "All You Need Is Love," which, for some, might be a relic from a distant past but is still relevant to us in our current time and space. 

Instead, I'd like to share my thoughts on how I'm working on those callouses built up around my heart lately and why love is all we need right now. 

First, I am developing habits that enable me to dwell more on good, beautiful, and true things.  This is an addition-by-subtraction because it requires shutting out negativity and embracing what is positive, life-giving, and uplifting. 

I try not to watch TV very much, and when I do, I try to find something that brings me joy, like Ted Lasso or The Great British Baking Show.  It doesn't mean I won't watch a good action movie, suspense thriller, or dark comedy occasionally, but those aren't my go-to.  

If I go on social media, I seek out and watch heartwarming videos, read positive posts, and generally do everything I can to teach the algorithms that those are the kinds of posts I want to see.  It works. 

What also works is not responding to fearful and awful posts on social media, even though sometimes I feel like giving the person who posted them a piece of my mind.  It's a waste of time, and most of those folks need to be ignored because they usually try to get a rise out of others.  

I am also working on smiling at people more. It doesn't always work, but nine out of 10 people tend to smile back. That one little gesture gets me off my phone, raises my gaze from the ground in front of me, and helps me spread more positive energy. 

In other words, I'm doing everything possible to show love to everyone I encounter. I don't always get this right, but when I do, I'm definitely more mindful of it, and I'm falling short closer to the mark than I used to. 

The foundation for all of this is vulnerability, which is difficult for many of us. But when we risk vulnerability and open our hands and hearts, slowly and surely, the callouses seem to soften. 

May we stay open to giving and receiving love in a world where we need to learn how to do both. May we risk vulnerability to do our part to soften the callouses in our culture. 

And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all, now and forever. Amen.