Letting Go Of The Life We Planned

 

There is a feeling that washes over me from time to time as I go through my days.  It's not exactly nostalgia because it's not prompted by a memory.  And it's not even based on reality, at least not a reality I am aware of. 

The feeling that washes over me comes from a longing for what might have been.  

We all have this feeling from time to time. We think about decisions that have affected the trajectory of our lives, ponder relationships that have come and gone, and consider the people we've lost to death or otherwise and how their presence might affect our present.  

Sometimes, we get the luxury of seeing how our lives were made better by choosing one direction over another.  But those moments are rare.  Most of the time, our "what might have been" reveries are pure speculation.  

What I've discovered is that more often than not, when I'm feeling these kinds of feelings, it has to do with how the life plans I made got blown up, shattered, or otherwise brought to the ground for one reason or another.   

Many of you might likely resonate with this.  Experiencing regret is part of what it means to be human, but when we begin to live with regret and spend most of our days looking in the rearview mirror of our lives, it can become debilitating.  

I came across this quote from the acclaimed author Joseph Campbell that really spoke to me: 

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

As I  pondered this quote today, I was reminded of a verse that has meant a great deal to me for a very long time and one that I need to remember during those moments when regret seems to fill my very soul, threatening to keep me looking back rather than leaning forward.  

It comes from the ancient Hebrew prophet Jeremiah, and it goes something like this: 

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "Plans not to harm you, but to give you hope and a future."  

This beautiful promise that the prophet speaks to a group of people who have experienced unimaginable loss and pain continues to speak to every person who feels trapped by the rearview mirror living I  mentioned.

The way I view this verse is a bit nuanced, though.  If taken at face value, it might seem as though God has either allowed or intentionally sent people through times of challenge, tragedy, pain, and loss.    

It might seem as though all of those things were part of God's "plans," even as God is reassuring God's people that everything will turn out fine.  

I don't believe that to be true.  God never intentionally inflicts God's own with such things, but it's easy to see why we might wonder a bit about why they are happening to us.  

In fact, for many of us, the prayer that we pray most often during difficult times is framed as a question: "Why?" or, more specifically, "Why me?" 

Which is why I lean heavily on the promise in that verse from Jeremiah.  The heartbreak, loss, pain, and difficulty were never part of God's plans.  They just happened.  Life is life-y.  And while God is present in all things, God doesn't cause all things.  

God's plans for us are not meant to harm us, and they are also not grounded in the past.  

This reassurance that there are better days ahead allows us to be more fully present in our present because we are not looking back at what might have been and are instead facing forward with hope and trust that we don't have to worry about tomorrow either. 

We are given the freedom to let go of the life we might have planned to have and to live heart forward toward the life that is waiting for us in the future---a future where God is already present, waiting for us to discover the joy of all the unrealized dreams we never dared to dream before.  

May we all find the peace that comes from letting go of the past and living more fully in the now without dreading tomorrow.  

And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all now, and forever. Amen.