Practicing Forgiveness During Advent

The Advent season is when we often feel a softening in the hard places of our hearts.  

This softening of the heart can be triggered by nostalgia, such as hearing a familiar Christmas song, seeing the lights and decorations, or watching a marathon binge of Hallmark Christmas movies.

Whatever warms our semi-frozen hearts during this time of year can sometimes lead us closer to letting go of past hurts and bitterness toward others and perhaps even forgiving ourselves, if we let it.   

Forgiveness is one of the most profound gifts we can extend to ourselves and others. It can heal wounds, mend relationships, and rejuvenate spirits. As we navigate through life's challenges, the ability to forgive emerges as a powerful tool that can liberate us from the burdens of anger, resentment, and guilt.

Bishop Desmond Tutu, a celebrated leader in the fight against apartheid and a passionate advocate for peace and reconciliation, eloquently expresses this sentiment. He once said, "Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning." 

Each act of forgiveness is not merely an act of kindness but a chance for renewal—an opportunity to break free from the chains of the past. 

This powerful idea is central to many spiritual teachings, including Christianity. The Bible reminds us in Ephesians 4:32: 

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." 

This verse underscores the importance of forgiveness as a command and an essential part of our human experience—a pathway to compassion and understanding.

Forgiveness is also about our internal journey when we learn to let go of our self-inflicted shackles. 

Often, we are our own harshest critics, reliving past mistakes and misjudgments that weigh heavily on our hearts. Learning to forgive ourselves can be one of the hardest steps in this journey. 

As Wilma Derksen writes in her book The Way of Letting Go:  

“Forgiving yourself is not about letting yourself off the hook; it’s about letting go of the suffocating grip of guilt.” 

This insight highlights the distinction between accountability and forgiveness, reminding us that recognizing our faults is part of growth, but holding onto guilt only hinders our progress.

When we embrace the concept of self-forgiveness, we gain a crucial understanding: our worth is not defined by our missteps. 

By permitting ourselves to forgive, we create an internal sanctuary to nurture our strengths and cultivate compassion for our humanity. This self-acceptance allows us to extend forgiveness toward others more freely, creating a ripple effect of healing and understanding.

The journey of forgiveness is not always straightforward. It requires vulnerability and courage, facing the pain inflicted by others and the pain we inflict on ourselves. 

Tutu reminds us, “Without forgiveness, there is no future.” This profound statement illustrates that clinging to resentment only anchors us to the past. Forgiveness releases us, allows us to grow, and invites us to envision a future filled with hope and connection.

Let us also remember that forgiveness does not excuse the wrongdoing; it transforms the experience. It frees us from the emotional burdens that tie us to past grievances, allowing us to walk forward unencumbered. 

Whether forgiving others or ourselves, the act is an empowering release that opens the door to peace, redemption, and personal growth.

As you embark on your own journey of forgiveness during this Advent season, I encourage you to take small, meaningful steps. 

Start by reflecting on parts of your life where you hold onto pain—either from yourself or from others. What would it feel like to release that burden? Perhaps write a letter to yourself or someone who has wronged you, expressing your feelings and desire to forgive. 

Remember, as you practice forgiveness, you are not only transforming your own life but also setting an example for those around you.

In the end, forgiveness is truly a gift we share with ourselves and the world. So, let us embrace, practice, and revel in the freedom it brings. It could be the very best Christmas gift we can give this year.  

May it be so, and may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us now and always. Amen.