How Grief Can Lead To Fully Living

The other day, I was thinking about the nature of grief and loss and how easy it is to allow it to consume us and keep us from finding peace and happiness in the present.  

The reason for my pondering was due to one of those hard pangs of grief over the loss of my mom some years ago--a pang that hits me sometimes and leaves me wishing that I could talk to my mom one more time.  

Despite the pain of it, I am grateful for my grief.  This might seem an odd thing to say, but it's true.  

I spent a very long time being consumed by grief, but both time and therapy helped me to frame it differently.  The grief I felt over my mom's death, as well as all the grief I've felt over all the losses since, serves as a reminder to me about what it means to be fully alive. 

Let me explain.   

Loss is an inevitable part of the human experience, and navigating the tumultuous waters of grief can feel overwhelming. Yet, within the profound depths of sorrow lies the potential for transformation and renewal. 

I read a recent quote from author L.R. Knost that beautifully articulates this idea:  

“Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful.” 

This profound insight reminds us that our emotional landscape is not a binary of joy and sadness but a tapestry woven with myriad experiences.

When faced with loss, it's essential to honor the complexity of our feelings. Allowing ourselves to grieve fully does not diminish our capacity for joy but enriches it. Amid heartbreak, we can lean into the beauty of life—in the laughter shared with friends, the stunning colors of a sunset, or the simple pleasures of our daily routines. 

Our resilience grows when we breathe in those moments of amazement, a vitality that fuels our spirit even as we hold on during awful times.

The Bible reminds us to be present in our lives: “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).  While this might be easier said than done some days, it's important to remember that each day we have been given is a gift that should be embraced.  

Each day holds a unique blend of joyful or painful experiences, and acknowledging the present moment is key to learning from it. Embracing the entirety of our existence means recognizing that even the most painful days can serve a purpose; they teach us, mold us, and propel us toward a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

To navigate the journey of acceptance, start with self-compassion. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise—sadness, anger, confusion. These feelings are valid and essential for healing. 

Cultivating mindfulness practices, such as meditation or journaling, can also help you stay grounded in the present. Focus on what brings you peace, whether walking in nature, connecting with loved ones, or engaging in creative pursuits.

Finally, remember that healing is not linear. There will be ups and downs, twists and turns. Surround yourself with supportive people who understand your journey, and don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance if needed. 

Accepting all that life brings means recognizing the lessons hidden within our struggles and celebrating the moments of joy that punctuate our days. As you learn to embrace the full spectrum of existence, you'll discover a resilience that echoes in the breathtaking beauty of life itself.

May we see all our losses and our grief as a pathway to living fully alive.  And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all, now and forever. Amen.