Forgiveness & Reconciliation During Lent

Several years ago, I was preaching a Lenten sermon series about letting Jesus undo some of the things in our lives that keep us from being the people we ought to be. 

One of those sermons was about forgiveness and reconciliation with the people we were in conflict with or had experienced a falling out with at some point. 

As I was preparing that sermon, I became burdened by a conflict I'd had with a colleague years before and how that conflict had led to our estrangement.  

I decided at that point that I needed to practice what I was about to preach, so I reached out to him and asked him for forgiveness for anything I had done to contribute to the conflict we'd experienced. 

I'd love to tell you that there was a complete restoration of our relationship and that we both asked for and received forgiveness from each other, but it didn't turn out that way exactly.  

But I was free from my bitterness about the whole thing and realized how heavy that had been to carry around.  

As we journey through the sacred season of Lent, we are invited to reflect deeply on our lives and actions, seek renewal of spirit, and embrace transformation that draws us closer to God and one another. 

An integral aspect of this journey is the call to guard our speech and inner thoughts, particularly toward those we may struggle with. 

St. John Chrysostom beautifully expresses this idea: 

"Let the mouth fast from foul words and unjust criticism for what good is it if we abstain from birds and fishes but bite and devour our brothers.” 

This poignant reflection compels us to examine what truly constitutes a fast in our lives. Traditionally, fasting from food is a common practice during Lent—a physical act that invites us to deny our cravings in favor of spiritual nourishment. 

However, the spirit of fasting transcends mere abstention from food; it involves the cultivation of a heart and mind aligned with love and compassion. Thus, if we refrain from certain foods yet allow our words to become instruments of harm or division, we miss the essence of true fasting.

In the Gospel of Matthew, we are reminded of the profound weight our words carry—“But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken” (Matthew 12:36, NIV). 

This verse highlights the importance of mindfulness in our speech and the need to foster a communal ethos of kindness and understanding. When we elevate our conversations, seeking to speak life rather than death, we begin a deeper communion with those around us and God.

As we reflect on our inclination toward negativity and critical speech, we can also consider how easy it is to view others as 'other'—to create divisions based on disagreements or conflicts that arise in our lives. 

This Lent, let us be challenged to turn away from the urge to “bite and devour” our brothers and sisters and instead embrace the opportunity to build bridges of reconciliation. 

We can consciously respond with grace, empathy, and love whenever we are on the verge of harsh judgment or dismissive words.

As we surrender our negative thoughts, let us make room for positive actions. 

Write a note of encouragement, extend an olive branch to a friend in conflict, or simply practice the discipline of silence when tempted to speak unkindly. Every effort counts as a step toward nurturing a spirit of unity and respect.

May this season of Lent inspire us to embrace a "fast" from negativity and divisiveness. Let us commit to speaking life, fostering understanding, and delicately navigating our differences. 

This is not merely a personal endeavor but a collective calling: to turn our hearts and mouths toward harmony instead of hostility. 

May we be the architects of peace in our conversations and, in doing so, truly honor the spirit of this sacred time.